Where did she go???

I feel like I am loosing my daughter. Or that she has changed so much I barely understand or recognize her. The last few months have been so emotional for her. She can barely handle her surroundings without hysterical tears. I can barely handle her without wanting to be in tears myself.

I think the timing of this all began with starting kindergarten. She seems to be in the rhythm now and seems to truely enjoy her days at school. She has lots of new friends, a teacher she adores and fun activities to consume her day.

I have been very aware of her getting enough sleep. She usually gets 11 hours a night. Its 7pm right now and she is already in bed. But she still wakes up ready to battle our daily routine. Ready to begin crying as soon as something happens. This something can be so little, that I her mother dont even understand why. Obviously its on a larger scale and Im trying to see it from her eyes, but I just dont understand. This morning she broke down into tears when I began to cut up her waffles. I guess she wanted to eat the waffle whole with her fingers. To me, it seems so simple to express her want to eat it whole, but tears are flowing down her face before she manages to think the words.

Danny and I went to a "second step" training through her school this last weeked. This dealt with social emotional guidance in kids. Its the program taught at her school. It teaches the children how to deal with their emotions and to express themselves. It gave us parents tools to understand our children and help them understand themselves. I feel like a failure today. She pushed me so far, I just was ready to jump off the edge. I didn't really care about trying to gently figure her out. Im ready to admit that I just don't understand this phase of my daughter. Im starting to just want to avoid her and this is a horrible way to feel.

After school her and Devon were playing so wonderfully out front in a tent I had set up. It was time to come in so I could begin dinner. Kayla quickly became frusterated because she had several trips worth of stuff to bring back into the house. She let out a long whine (kind of animal - like) trying to get my attention. As I peak out the door she threw herself on the ground in tears how its so unfair she has all this stuff to bring in. (Remember she had no problem bringing it all out) I asked if she would like to ask me for help. She decided to ask me to bring in the little table top, which I did and put away in the house. I turn around and she is now in the living room in tears. She did not want me to put the damn table away and was mad at me. How does one co-exist with this??? She is HYSTERICAL. I asked her to sit in her room till she is able to calm down and let me know when she is ready to talk. 20 minutes of screaming later she came out and I tried to tell her I was trying to help her and she just needed to use her words to tell me what she wanted. She just told me its unfair and I am mean.

Anyways....I will stop here, but there are 2 more examples of breakdown this evening. We didnt even get home till 4pm tonight and she was in bed by 7pm. We also did dinner and bath and bed routine....and she still managed to "break down" 4 times. Im exhausted and confused and sad. I miss my daughter. Will she comee back???